


Pawns

by LotusFlair



Series: Magnus Season 5 Codas [11]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Book: A Guest for Mr. Spider (The Magnus Archives), Discussions of death, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fate & Destiny, Fear Apocalypse, Gen, Loneliness, M/M, Millbank Prison Panopticon (The Magnus Archives), Spoilers thru Episode 198, The Beholding Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives), The Vast Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives), The Web Fear Entity (The Magnus Archives), Uncertainty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-19 13:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29999970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LotusFlair/pseuds/LotusFlair
Summary: The plan is decided. With so much at stake, Jon and Martin have one last Big Talk before climbing the tower and deciding the fate of more than one world.--Spoilers for MAG 198!
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: Magnus Season 5 Codas [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763854
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Pawns

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously subject to change once MAG 199 airs, but just some things I've been thinking of after the last few episodes.

They all needed time to process their decision. After Jon filled Georgie and Melanie in on the options, the discussion - or argument, really - had been long and arduous. Honestly, it was mostly Melanie laying into Jon for a lot of things that didn't seem related to the task at hand, but it was clear she was working through every weaponized emotion available. Jon took it because he always did and once the yelling stopped, they ran through the pros and cons of both plans. Their choice was obvious in hindsight, but they needed to go through the motions of the discussion for the sake of their continually battered and broken consciences. They'd been through enough trauma and pain to last a dozen lifetimes and now they were condemning another world to the possibility of the same fate. It was a lot for five people to decide, so Martin understood Jon's immediate instinct to retreat to the alcove they'd used as their makeshift bedroom.

They'd all watched him leave, knowing what was likely running through Jon's head that remained unspoken. After a long stretch of uncomfortable silence, he heard Melanie begin to speak.

"Melanie, please...you've said your peace," Martin interrupted. He didn't want another diatribe of her criticizing and degrading his partner. At least Martin had the decency to keep his feelings about Georgie to himself.

He felt a bottle nudge his hand as Melanie slid over the last of the decades old wine towards him.

"Just tell him...I'm sorry," she said. It sounded genuine enough, but he was beyond the ability to care at the moment.

Martin sighed, shaking his head with a ghost of a smile. "You two are so alike..."

She scowled at his response as if he'd revealed some hidden truth or, at least, stumbled upon something hitherto unknown. "What did y--?"

"Why don't we start with you not blaming him for everything that went wrong in your life?" Martin said. "He's carrying enough guilt as it is. He didn't need you sniping at him because he couldn't predict the future or stop you from accepting a job offer when he wasn't even here. Is he a prick sometimes? Yes, of course he is, but we - all of us - made choices independent of what was happening to him. The Grand Design was set in motion long before any of us knew it existed, so taking all of our petty issues out on Jon isn't helping. Especially when...especially when these next few hours are the last we'll have with him as himself. That's all I care about right now."

He felt Basira's hand on his shoulder give a gentle squeeze. Melanie, thankfully, remained silent.

"Feel better?" Basira asked.

"Not even a little bit," Martin scoffed. He grabbed the bottle. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go apologize to my boyfriend."

It was entirely possible that Jon heard everything he'd just said. The tunnels echoed, but the alcoves had some measure of sound dampening because of the doors Leitner had assembled to give the area something of an underground flat aesthetic. Either way, Martin wasn't concerned with how much Jon heard. Instead, he was more concerned with Jon's state of mind as they played out their endgame. Maybe this was always inevitable, but Martin was going to make damn sure Jon knew he was wanted and loved by someone before they once again went into the unknown.

The Archivist was curled up in the farthest corner of the alcove with his legs drawn up tightly, chin resting on his knees. He stared at the opposite wall, but there was no look of contemplation on his face. Instead, Jon's expressions oscillated between resignation and fortitude. Martin didn't envy him, he ached for the man sitting before him and the decision they'd made that would ultimately decide his fate.

Sitting beside the man he loved, Martin stayed silent for a while. They didn't always need to talk right away. Sometimes it was important to just be in the other's presence. They were both used to long stretches of quiet, but since breaking out of the Lonely Martin was still uncomfortable when the silences went on for too long. He fidgeted with the wine bottle for a time before taking a swig and handing it over to Jon.

"You know what I kept thinking was going to happen while we were climbing down that ladder?" Martin said, his voice only slightly above a whisper.

"What?" Jon asked in an equally hushed tone.

"I thought - I thought Simon Fairchild might show up again," he admitted. He almost felt Jon's eyes on him and wasn't disappointed to find a curious gaze meeting him. "Ya know, the one avatar that got away. He blasts through the sky, says some villain shit, and tries to mess with us on a - well, literal and metaphorical - cliffhanger. Then you smite him."

Jon chuckled. In the dim lighting he almost looked happy. "I don't think you should limit yourself to writing poetry when you have such a cinematic eye for storytelling."

"Nah, I've just seen too many movies," Martin said. He felt Jon lean into him more. Wrapping his arm around Jon's shoulder, Martin brought him in closer, as close as was humanly possible. In these last hours, he didn't want there to be any unoccupied space between them despite the fights, miscommunications, and misunderstandings.

"I like the way you see the story play out," Jon said, finally taking a drink. "Your endings are much more...satisfying."

"Unrealistic, more like it," Martin said. "I warned myself about this when I was in my domain."

"Is that so?"

"I'm a real piece of work, I've discovered," Martin said. He felt Jon squeeze back in response. "But I guess that's what you get when most stories tell you there's a guaranteed happy ending after a huge cataclysmic event."

"Hmm," Jon said, "as opposed to the game of chess you find yourself a part of and realize you were never a knight or a rook. Not even a queen. Just a pawn."

They stayed quiet for a bit afterwards, Jon's words sinking in like a fresh layer of snow on the already frozen ground.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry, again, for leaving with Annabelle," Martin said. "I just...I couldn't accept that there was only one way out. I didn't want to accept that the only way to win was to lose you entirely. I know we made promises, but..."

"It's much easier said than done," Jon finished. He laced their fingers together, kissing Martin's hand. "I know the feeling. And I understand the desperation. It's how I felt when you and Peter entered the Panopticon. I was ready to throw myself at anyone, even the people who hated me most, just so I could get to you. My life was forfeit if it meant saving you."

"It's almost like we were made for each other," Martin said. "A real love story for the ages, from meet-horrible to tragic ending."

"I wish the outcome had better odds," Jon said. "I can only hope there's enough of me left to know you when it's all done."

"But you don't know how much of you is the Eye."

"More than I want to admit," Jon said. "Though I imagine that was the only way this would remotely work. Jonah needed me dependent and monstrous and the Web needed me powerful enough to bring about the Change in order to alter it. One pawn moving between two players from the very beginning."

The tone of Jon's voice, the shakiness in the realization of lifelong manipulation was enough to break Martin's heart. There were no comforting words that could soothe such tragedy born from wickedness. So Martin stayed quiet, letting Jon work through his feelings with his arms around him for support.

"I never thought I was destined for greatness," Jon said. "I just - I was so curious about everything, really. I wanted to know the answers, how things worked, what mysteries could be proved and disproved, but...I never wanted it at the expense of someone else's life or welfare. Academia was always cutthroat, but when I look back on the choices I've made - the people I've hurt - did it start at Mr. Spider and the Web? What about me made them choose to hinge their plans on my development? Was there a point where I could've altered the course of my life away from Annabelle and Jonah? Or was my fate sealed the moment my grandmother picked that book out of dozens of other harmless works?"

"It was never about you, Jon," Martin said, kissing the top of his head. "You were the one they picked because you were there and you kept surviving. You made choices based on the information you had only to find out you'd been playing at a disadvantage the whole time."

"And, what, I'm just supposed to hoist this all on another world? Put more souls at a disadvantage because of my failure?"

"...the world is always ending," Martin said, as if realizing something for the first time.

"What?"

"One of the statements I read while I was working with Peter. It was supposed to convince me of the Extinction's emergence, but...it makes sense when you look at what we've gone through, what we've read about the past, and what we're about to do," Martin said. "It's just beginnings and endings with a lot of stuff in the middle, but it's a cycle, isn't it? A natural order of things. Even - even an apocalypse begins and ends one way or another. We're just choosing to end it on our terms."

"By passing it on to someone else," Jon said in his lingering tone of defeat, "and condemning more people to the same fate."

Martin sighed, understanding the weight of Jon's words, but he'd had enough of suffering in silence and giving away more and more of himself under the delusion of selflessness. This was about survival, pure and simple. It was selfish, but sometimes you needed to be selfish to save yourself and, maybe, the world.

"We don't know where the Fears will end up, though I'm sure Annabelle has a plan for that," Martin began as Jon scoffed in agreement. "Wherever they land, I imagine she and a majority of the Web will try to avoid an encore."

"You're trusting the Web to be that magnanimous?" Jon asked.

Martin shrugged. "It's like you said before. The Web liked the world the way it was, right? They set this up because they saw a potential future where Jonah Magnus succeeded and they needed an escape. Well, maybe in the next world they'll take better care to stop it from happening entirely based on their experiences here."

Jon scowled, "You're giving Annabelle too much credit."

"And you're not giving her enough."

"I can...appreciate the Web's self-preservation instincts, I suppose," Jon conceded, "but they'll just end up doing what they did to me to someone else. Another pawn in another game, ad infinitum."

Martin sighed, "Then end it here, Jon."

"What?"

"Do what you threatened to do at Hill Top. Destroy the lighter. Take away the other option and we can live out existence here until we're all dead and it's just you and the Fears until that's done. Plans derailed, wheel broken. No one suffers but us."

He knew it was a gamble to push Jon like this. Just like when he'd found out blinding oneself could sever ties with the Eye, Jon found more bravado in the what ifs rather than the actual actions. Martin could understand the regrets and second-guessing going through Jon's mind, but he needed to be confronted with the consequences of all the potential outcomes. No matter what they chose, lives would be saved, altered, and sacrificed regardless of their moral intentions.

Jon was quiet again, thinking it through for longer than Martin was comfortable with. Finally, he let out a quivering sigh, looking up at Martin with tear-brimmed eyes.

"I can't - I can't let you suffer because of me," Jon said. "Not anymore. Not ever again."

"Jon..."

"I meant what I said when we first started this journey. You're my reason, Martin. Just you. Everyone else be damned, I just want you to be safe and happy and," he said, "and I couldn't live with myself if I condemned you to this hellscape any longer. I just - I wish we'd had more time together."

Martin pulled Jon more thoroughly into his embrace, kissing him like it was the last time they'd ever see each other. He didn't want to think of the truth in those thoughts, but he wasn't about to ruin the time they had with such worst case scenarios.

When their kiss ended, the taste of wine lingering on their lips, Martin pressed their foreheads together, trying like hell to stop the salty tears from spilling down his cheeks.

"I love you so much, Jon," he whispered. "And I choose to believe that, whatever happens, we'll still be together."

"Just promise me you'll take care of yourself first," Jon said. "No more setting yourself on fire. I want Martin Blackwood to thrive and flourish in a world without fear."

Martin let out a tearful laugh. "Sounds like a story worth telling. But...ya know what?"

"What?" Jon sniffled.

"You've left out something crucial in your chess metaphor."

"And what's that?"

"Sometimes, the pawns survive. Sometimes they put the king in checkmate. Sometimes they win," he said, his tears showing no signs of stopping.

Jon smiled, pressing another kiss to his lips, mixing the wine with their mingled tears.

"I like your ending," he said. "I hope I get to see it."


End file.
